Are you an Entertainer? We'd love to hear from you! We are always open-minded about receiving new, good talent. Tell us about yourself. Upon your acceptance/approval, we will post you on our web site. First, however, see "how we operate" [just below]... - so we'll both understand and - if you agree - we'll add you to our roster!
Thanks for being interested.
Contact us via: e-mail, Mail, fax or phone: 780-942-2795.
Once we have you on our "to contact" list, when a potential Client contacts us, we phone Entertainers (you?) in that geographical area. We tell you the date, the time, and whatever they have told us (what they are looking for). If you are available, we ask YOU for 2 prices:
- your preferred price (what would make you happy), and
- your minimum price (minimum worth leaving home for)
IMPORTANT: We want to know that - if we contact you for an event, and then later you receive an inquiry directly from the same event, that you will respect us first and not book them directly. WE respect other Agents in this way, and we want you to respect us likewise. Failure to conform will result in our removing you from our call list.
We then add our percentage on top of your preferred price (a meager amount - not like many/most Agencies, where they double or triple it), and submit that resulting amount to the Client. If they don't have the budget, we lower it gradually, and sometimes coming closer to the "minimum" is acceptable for the Client. We confirm this with you, and send a contract to the Client.
YOU ARE THEN CONFIRMED, the show is booked, and you receive your price, as agreed. You go as a Party Central Entertainer, handing out ONLY our cards. We never mention tipping, but if they ask us, we say "That's between you and the Entertainer, but don't feel compelled to tip." Most do tip, making your take even higher, whereas we still make our minimal. Here's what WE expect, and demand, in return:
WE EXPECT PROFESSIONALISM
We all have heard of the definition of "Professional": "One who is paid...". If this is the case, then every Street Entertainer is a Professional. As you well know - not true. This is how WE define "Professional", and since we are paying you "Professional" rates, we EXPECT this in return:
(Please note - the following is written - not with anger, but ALL CAPS and bold. The ALL CAPS isn't "yelling", nor the bold meant to be authoritative - simply to accentuate it's meaning. We're nice folks, but as you can tell, we've had some bad experiences, and we are now fixing it before we have that experience with entertainers again :-)
- You arrive at the event early. Not necessarily "on-time", but rather, early enough to ease the Customer's worry.
- Your show is good.
- You are friendly, and NEVER, EVER encourage a tip. If you want to make more, ask us to pay you more. If your price is too high that the show won't book. This is simply how economics works - we encourage you to lower your price to meet demand of the marketplace.
- If you ever, EVER even show signs of having ingested alcohol before or during an event, YOU WILL NOT BE PAID FOR THE EVENT! And never contacted for our events again. (We have had people who have complained: "He was drinking us dry at the bar!" - although we are aware that they mean "he had a drink, but we thought it was disrespectable".
- Again, you are not to provide your personal contact information to anyone (this includes business cards, fliers or other literature, or even a piece of paper with your number or e-mail scribbled on it). You are not to display any banners either. Not to mention it's tacky, in our opinion, so we don't allow it. IF YOU HAND OUT YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION, YOU WILL NOT BE PAID! If you see a cutie whom you want to pick-up, go to another Agent - we are paying you to WORK, not to flirt, or smoke or drink. Again, put yourself in the customers' shoes - if you were hiring an expensive Entertainer, would you want them to be hanging out smoking or at the bar or flirting with your guests??
- This was stated above, but we really want to make you aware of - if we contact you for an event and you bid on it, and then later (even 2 minutes later) you receive that same inquiry directly, that you will respect us first and not book them directly (unless *our* booking falls through. WE respect other Agents in this way, and we want you to respect us likewise. Failure to conform will result in our removing you from our contact list.)
If this all seems "too much", we invite you to go to another Agent (We are not an Agent - we are a Reseller) - there's plenty of them out there (see gigmasters, gigsalad, skipthedishes, etc). If you agree to all of this, we'd be delighted to talk with you! Or, read why we charge what we do... And a big THANK YOU to all the write-ins of agreement, and other Resellers and Agents who want to post this, as well. Take (copy) what you want - the content on this page is public domain - spread the knowledge as you will! :-)
Charges & our fees: For some strange reason, entertainers never think of our expenses - only theirs. They phone us on our toll-free # (costing us money), but they don't want to phone us direct (costing them money) - they want us to phone them (costing us money), and then they get upset when we make a profit. Do you see where this is going??
When we book an event, we have to pay taxes (even when the entertainers don't). We (per Law) pay GST and taxes to Revenue Canada, 5% for Agency fees, and 5% [PLUS a $4 per charge] credit card fee - not to mention our monthly $800-$1,200 toll-free phone bill, and advertising [the biggest part!] as well. A $50 "profit" makes us an actual profit of $12.
Remember, most Agents & Resellers double or triple the prices. In some cases we've seen it marked up 450%. We personally know <un named electronics store> spends 52˘ on a stereo needle, and sells it for $7.99. Most all gear in a typical retail store is DOUBLED in price; many things are tripled.
Going forward, a healthy entertainer is a happy entertainer, and therefore better quality. Below are a few added "FYI" health suggestions - tips if you can take them...
(Just some fun (and informative) "fyi" information - to those who are interested)
Healthy Entertainers are happy Entertainers, and although all of this [below] sounds like we're being "mommy", we mean well - and hey, who knows - it may enhance your life...
• Cellular Phones:
Most everyone uses a mobile (Cellular) phone these days, and with Ted Kennedy as a perfect example, they can cause tumors and sterility. We always recommend that our Contractors (Entertainers) wear a headset or earbud when talking on their mobile phone, but it has been said far better by a Surgeon (circa December 2008): "Do not hold your cellular phone to your head [use a headset!], and leave it on your dashboard [1 meter away] while talking - and waiting for a call."
There is one simple reason for this: cellular phones work off of microwave transmission. And unlike a microwave oven, it has zero protection of this radiation. Yes, same with your laptop - keep it away from your lap!! Tests have confirmed that even a laptop turned OFF raises the temperature above 37.0 C (the normal human temperature), and sterility can occur.
"Mobile telephones is the new 'smoking". It took 35 years for people to "know"that cigarette smoking is unhealthy, and thele is only 17 years of data so far on mobile phones. You may mock ius for citingt cellular dangers, but we may be 20 years before our time.
• "Smart" Phones and gaming:
For many articles on the destruction of our spine DUE TO SMARTPHONES and gaming devices, here's many articles:
Honey is the only food on the planet that will not spoil or rot. What it will do is what some call 'turning to sugar'. In reality, honey is always honey. However, when left in a cool dark place for a long time it will "crystallize". When this happens loosen the lid, boil some water and sit the honey container in the hot water, but turn off the heat and let it liquefy naturally. It is then as good as it ever was. Never boil honey or put it in a microwave. This will kill the enzymes in the honey.
We'll bet the drug companies won't like this one getting around! Facts on Honey and Cinnamon:
It is found that a mixture of honey and Cinnamon cures most diseases. Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world. Scientists of today also accept honey as a 'Ram Ban' (very effective) medicine for all kinds of diseases. Honey can be used without side effects for any kind of diseases. Today's science says that even though honey is sweet, when it is taken in the right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm even diabetic patients.
See a video by a Doctor:
Since most performers find eyeglasses a burden, we suggest the holistic way to improve eyesight: Pinhole Glasses: Also called "Stenopeic glasses", like sunglasses with a grid of tiny holes, they are a cheap and easy way to help correct poor vision when worn for only 15 minutes a day!* They only cost $30 to $40. They also help reduce heart-rate, headaches and tension.
or the more modern:
Try them - your eyesight will improve! (It took me only 4 months to be rid of glasses! But remember, keep wearing them. It's like exercising - when you stop, atrophy occurs.
* Follow directions - start out with 30 seconds, and every day, increase it 30 seconds.)
Anti-snore Ring: For those 99% of humans who snore, here is a simple (think acupressure) remedy.
Although I'll not get into "self-hypnosis" here, it's a fantastic way to sleep better (and deeper), and get the same effects of "Yoga". After all, Yoga and Kung Fu are respected, but self-hypsosis (same basic premise as yoga & Kung Fu) is not so respected.
• Try the DVORAK Keyboard: (you use the QWERTY keyboard)
Having taken scientists (Dr. August Dvorak and his team of 10 other Scientists and Surgeons) 12 years to develop after being commissioned by the Military, the Dvorak keyboard puts the most-used consonants on the right side of the home row, and all of the vowels on the left side of the home row. Among other design features, it is set up to facilitate keying in a back-and-forth motion - (right hand, then left hand, then right, etc.) When the same hand has to be used for more than one letter in a row (e.g., the common t-h), it is designed not only to use different fingers when possible (to make keying quicker and easier), but also to progress from the outer fingers to the inner fingers ("inboard stroke flow") - it's easier to drum your fingers this way (try it on the tabletop). The back-and-forth flow obviously makes typing quicker and easier: Try typing the word "minimum" on the Qwerty keyboard, then look how you'd type it on Dvorak [pictured here]. The design puts fully 70 percent of all English keystrokes on the home row (only 32 percent of Qwerty's are on the home row), making Dvorak much easier, faster, and less likely to result in carpal tunnel syndrome and other repetitive motion injuries.
Want to switch? It's easy (http://www.dvorak-keyboard.com) - go to your Control Panel!! Buy a keyboard cover at http://www.bhphotovideo.com/ ! Or, do what I did - I used a small screwdriver and removed the keys, then pressed them back at the Dvorak positions. Free, and piece of cake!
Again, the QWERTY was invented in the 1700's - to slow typing down; the DVORAK was invented this century - by Engineers - to speed typists up and correct carpal-tunnel Syndrome. Dare to be better? Switch to Dvorak! See a video here: typedvorak.com
How to switch/add Dvorak as a keyboard layout:
1. Open your "International" preference or control panel. Shown here on a Macintosh:
2. Check on "Dvorak" I have it highlighted here (and made it smaller to fit better):
That's it - you're done!
Speaking of fuel –
This may save you money: For gasoline engines - you only need to buy fuel grades that keep your engine from knocking (pinging). Don't buy "Premium" (91+ octane) unless your engine "pings" (knocks) under slight acceleration or up hills. This gasoline is NOT better than "Regular" (87) octane fuel - it only has higher octane, which burns SLOWER (not faster), therefore eliminating knock (ping).
One further note: If your vehicle is fuel-injected, don't buy from the "cheap" gasoline stations, as those dealers buy the high sulfur (cheaper, rejected) gasoline from refineries. This sulfur clogs injectors! It will cost more to fix your vehicle in the long run - than you save on the gasoline cost! And no one wants to know this, but alas ... crude oil from the Middle-East has low sulfur in it, whereas American crude is typically high in sulfur - and sulfur is not refined out. Sorry for that dismal news.
If your engine is Diesel, all fuel in Canada is Ultra-Low Sulphur Diesel Fuel (called "ULSD" - 15 parts per million) and contains BioDiesel as a splashed-mix. Sulphur burns in air to form the gaseous dioxide sulfur(IV) oxide, SO2 S8(s) + 8O2(g) 8SO2(s)
To learn about how Gasoline and Diesel is (are) made, see http://retail.petro-canada.ca/en/independent/2060.aspx#How is diesel fuel made?
Get rid of viruses (and crashes!) ...use Unix –
Although most are unaware of this, the telephone company has been using Unix since it abandoned Switchboard Operators in the 50's. Also, if you use an iPhone iPod, Android, or Mac®, you're using Unix already. For your home computer, UNIX IS FREE and there are no viruses (or crashes!). Next time you have to take in your computer for upgrade or repair, have them install Unix for you. No more frequent upgrades (like Windows®), and you can leave it running 24/7/365, and you will have no crashes or viruses or any other fears. Trust us - we use it 24/7/365, no firewall. And zero crashes or viruses.